Around this time, every day, I hit bottom. My head spins and feels heavy. I can’t concentrate—everything just feels like too much.

The only thing positive about these episodes is that I know they will be gone in a matter of hours.

Well, not so suddenly by this point, but for the past week or so, I’ve become incredibly paranoid about what I say here. I’ve got approximately 10 posts drafted, but have no intention to share them, at least for today.

Perhaps this paranoia will leave me; I’m not sure.

Discussion at Bound, Not Gagged reigns supreme. I commented there. Beyond that, I’m in another moment of ‘no words’ this morning.

Given the lack of integrity shown in early HIV research, I’m more than a bit skeptical of HIV/AIDS vaccine research. There has been a lot of talk recently about the possibilities of developing an HIV vaccine, and the information in this abstract isn’t new, but it is one of the better academic studies in this area. (I love it when researchers study other researchers.)

U.S., British HIV/AIDS Researchers Pessimistic About Prospects of Vaccine, Survey Finds

To determine the sentiments of researchers, the Independent surveyed more than 35 leading HIV/AIDS scientists in the U.S. and Britain. The survey found that two researchers responded that they are now more optimistic about the prospects for an HIV vaccine than they were last year, and four said that they were more optimistic now than they were five years ago. About two-thirds said that a vaccine will not be developed within the next decade, and some respondents said it would take at least 20 years to develop a vaccine. The survey also found a “substantial minority” said that an HIV vaccine might never be developed, according to the Independent. In addition, those who said that a vaccine might be developed in the next 10 years said that such a vaccine would be unlikely to work as a “truly effective prophylactic” against HIV infection. More than 80% of the survey respondents said that because of the failure of the Merck trial, it is important to change the direction of HIV vaccine research.

Researchers Develop Breath-Monitoring Device To Monitor Treatment Adherence Among HIV-Positive People

According to Melker, the new device could help address the issue by providing a new way to monitor treatment adherence. Melker said that although the current version of the device works well, he hopes that the technology eventually can be used in a cellular phone. He added that the device also could be used to track treatment adherence in people living with tuberculosis and other illnesses. Melker said that the potential implications of the device in helping health officials understand why some patients adhere to treatment regimens and others do not is “huge” (ANI/Thaindian News, 4/22).

As someone who has great difficulty adhering to her MS medication, I find this device quite interesting, if not a bit terrifying.

Interesting because it would make it difficult for me to lie, even partially, to my physician. Thus allowing for an accurate representation of the true nature of non-compliant MS patients–and I hear there are more than a few. It could really help researchers in developing more effective medications by learning about how medications, or lack there of, truly affect an individual’s prognosis.

Terrifying because, well, it might mean I have no way out of taking the drugs. If you’re non-compliant, doctor’s can “fire” you as their patient. Hence the reason many lie. For those who do fess up about their bad practices, there are endless reprisals from the physician. Again, a good reason to lie.

Is lying to doctors destined to be a thing of the past?

This abstract was in the Kaiser Daily HIV/AIDS Policy Report on 4/23/08.

I have much to say about the debate at William & Mary last night, but, alas, I don’t have the time to say it right now. But Ren, Jill, and Karla all did a great job last night.

Yes, I included the radical feminist on the panel. She did a great job, and not simply by showing up. She listened, and stated her views with tact. We agreed to disagree on a number of points, while still managing to agree that the rights of persons in the sex industry need to be respected.

In fact, it might have been one of the most civil debates between “them” and “us” that I’ve ever attended. I thank all involved parties, the debate participants, the student organizers, and the university, for making the event possible.

Now, I won’t get into some of the under-handed tactics that went on behind the scenes. But those tactics affected real people, real lives, real WOMEN. At the present, I refer you to Ren’s blog where you can gage the duplicitous moves, by she who shall remain nameless, for yourself.

http://renegadeevolution.blogspot.com/2008/04/and-now-for-rest-of-story-part-one.html

http://renegadeevolution.blogspot.com/2008/04/well-this-is-shitty-way-to-start.html

She, who shall remain nameless, has brought numerous hits to my blog over the past week. For that, I thank her, but in this moment, I’m done giving her free publicity.

Following historical precedent, both Samantha Berg and John Foubert have removed themselves from this evening’s panel discussion at William and Mary. I reference historical precedent because this is the most common reaction by radical feminists when asked to debate sex workers’ rights activists.

Judging from Sam’s communications with event organizer Constance Sisk and undisclosed recipients, she is claiming to be in fear of Ren, and has used this as the reason to not participate in the discussion. In solidarity, John Foubert followed Sam’s departure from the debate.

A few points here: Ren is not violent and poses no threat. She is a force to be reckoned with on the internet, but probably weighs in at a fraction of Sam’s total body weight, including implants. Ren loves a thriving debate, and that is what she signed up for, no more and no less. The fact that the event is billed as a discussion on pornography and Ren is to be the only current pornographer on the panel, and a woman at that, seems to be lost on the departed academics. Why?

Add to that the fact that all SWOP East Board Members pledged to abide by our principles of non-violence for this event. Such a promise seems ridiculous. We are a non-violence project, and an organization that acts for the benefit of those in the sex industry. We are women who have worked in the sex industry who simply want a chance to speak and present a counter-argument to those feminists who find comfort in disparaging us. The idea that we would be walking into this debate with anything more than words under our belts is insulting, and ultimately says more about Sam than it does about Ren.

Karla Mantilla has agreed to replace Sam and John on the panel, making a two-sided debate possible, even if the numbers are skewed.

So, tonight, I’ll be with my ladies at William & Mary. I’ll be off-stage, wearing a SWOP East T-shirt and a ruby Mountains of the Moon Arya skirt. Don’t hesitate to say hello. I don’t bite . . . unless you ask me to.

We also welcome all to listen to XBN tonight. Join Amanda Brooks as she hosts a discussion immediately following the debate at 7pm: www.xxbn.net

I realize that many of the older posts, those originally published on Blogger, are messy and need to be cleaned up. It bugs the hell out of me.

I will not get that done right now, but I will get it done ASAP.

A few days ago I posted about the upcoming debate Jill Brenneman and Renegade Evolution will have against John Foubert and Samantha Berg.

Well, the appearance of Ren has caused quite a stir! It looks as though the usual suspects are trying to censor the views represented on the panel.

You can read the words of Ren and Jill over at Bound, not Gagged.

Excuse me, but how do you have an academic discussion on pornography and its effect on women without accepting the voice of a women involved in the production of pornography?

You cannot the address the oppression of women by silencing them!

I often reference the oppression radical feminist impose upon consensual workers in the sex industry. My claims are rarely believed, but over at BnG, you can judge for yourself if the radical feminist tactics are, in fact, blatant censorship.

I think this is awesome! I wish more nations would implement similar measures, both towards transgender empowerment and the fight against HIV/AIDS.

Transgender People Spread HIV Prevention Messages Among Men who have Sex with Men (MSM) in Cuba

Since the first festival last year, 18 transgender people have participated in training workshops to become health promoters and participate in HIV prevention activities. As part of the program, the Pinar del Rio Centre for Prevention of Sexually Transmitted Diseases and HIV/AIDS has helped transgender people find jobs and enroll in training programs. The program is part of a larger strategy aimed at addressing the needs of transgender people.